In a novel, a black moment is defined as the point where the hero or heroine is faced with his/her deepest, darkest fears (be they internal or external) and is a test of true character. (There's a more in-depth discussion of Black Moments in writing by a great writer friend of mine, Lexi Post, HERE.) In a novel, there is typically one black moment where all seems lost.
In real life we aren't so lucky.
At first I ignored it. Because that seemed like the thing to do. (*NOTE: DON'T ignore heart irregularities! Heart attacks are the silent killer in women--for more information and symptoms, see the AHA website here!)
Before you comment and lecture me, I know. Duh. What a moronic thing to do--to ignore it for a day and a half. But I was BUSY, dang it! I didn't have time for health nonsense!
After texting my husband to see if he thought I should go to the ER (yes, texting--I'm really working the 'ignore-it-and-it-will-stop' method here!), I finally decide I'll visit my Dr. who gives me a weekly B12 vitamin shot for my lack of energy. I figure, I'll tell him, he'll say it's just some weird thing, and not to worry, and off I'll go.
Except it doesn't go like that.
What he does is put his finger on my wrist, feels my pulse for like 30 seconds (during which, my heart complies by beating it's way out of my ribcage every 5 beats--yay, heart!). Then, he calls for a 12-lead, and this is the result.
I can't read EKGs, but what caught my eye was the "ABNORMAL" in caps at the top. The Doc said that while it was probably nothing, I needed to see a cardiologist. Today.
And the black moment began.
I won't take you through the rest of it, but the story ends well. What I have are called PVCs, which is not a bunch of white pipes at Home Depot, but Premature Ventricular Contractions (great info from Mayo Clinic about PVCs here). Basically, PVCs are a type of benign arrhythmia that can start and end at any point in life, but are typically triggered by:
1. Hormones, especially pre-menaupausal ones. Yep--I fit that.
2. Stress. Oh, yeah--I've got that.
3. Anemia (which basically goes along with the hemorrhage-like monthlies brought along by lovely #1, so yeah, I'm there, too.)
Probably TMI for you, lovely reader, but since many of you have emailed me asking why I haven't blogged in so long, I felt like I owed an explanation. My PVCs triggered a black moment where I, like my characters, was forced to re-examine my life, and make some tough choices.
I have only so many writing hours in a day. And in the summer, with the kids home, you can cut that in half, then in half again, and probably once more. So, what is that? About an eighth of my normal time?? I don't know. I suck at fractions. Whatever it is, it's minuscule to what I have when school is in session. And with my pitch coming up in the annual RWA conference, I really have had to choose where to spend my time. The blogging went to the bottom of the list. :(
However, I'm trying to be better at allocating my time, so I hope to be back to a more 'regular' appearance, here. I've missed you guys--thanks for the emails with your concern, too. It helps more than you know!
Happily My Ever After,
P.S. Want to see what I've been stressing over? Check out my WIP page here for a little teaser on my YA Contemporary, Delinquent.
P.P.S. Make sure you subscribe to my blog with the buttons at the right. You'll be the first to know WHEN I get my contract for my YA. (Not If, but WHEN. The power of positive thought!!)