Mystery Novel Query Letter that Worked

I'm excited to have multi-talented, and multi-published author, Nancy Cohen as my guest today for Writers Paying It Forward Friday. Nancy has only one query letter to share...because after that, she
landed an agent who has sold her books--all 18 of them!--from that day forward. If you haven't read one of Nancy's books, I encourage you to check them out. She's a very talented writer who (IMHO) really has a grasp of the craft.

Nancy, welcome to my blog and thank you so much for sharing your Actual Query Letter that Resulted in a Contract! I know when I was first starting out, I'd have given my left nostril to see the query letter for a book I could actually buy and read, and here we have yours from your first mystery, PERMED TO DEATH.

Nancy, would you share your query letter here, and tell us why you think it got a response? What made it successful?

I’d already had a track record, and that made a difference. Plus this was the start of a new series, which agents prefer over a midlister doing the same old, same old type of work. I was changing genres so it would be a fresh start.

(Nancy Cohen's query letter for PERMED TO DEATH):

Dear Ms. Agent:

I'm a published author seeking a new agent to represent me for a mystery book proposal.  PERMED TO DEATH is a 75,000 word novel featuring beauty salon owner Marla Shore.

When one of her clients is poisoned while getting a perm, Marla becomes a prime suspect. She attends the woman’s funeral and meets her relatives and business associates, all of whom have logical motives for murder. But so does Marla, as homicide detective Dalton Vail learns during his investigation. Desperately seeking to salvage her reputation, Marla seeks to identify the killer before the next "permanent" solution is her own.

PERMED TO DEATH is the first book in a proposed series. Also available is a synopsis for the next story, HAIR RAISER. The title for the third installment is MURDER BY MANICURE.

I have four futuristic romance novels in print and am the winner of the 1995 HOLT Medallion Award in the paranormal category.  PERMED TO DEATH is my first mystery.  Would you be interested in seeing the complete proposal? An SASE is included for your reply. Please note this is a multiple submission. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

I love how succinct your letter is, yet you hit every point in the Anatomy of a Query Letter and you follow all of the Top 10 Do's and Don'ts for Query Letters. Your book synopsis was well crafted, and I love, love, love the hair puns in your titles. So clever!

What is THE most important thing writers can do for themselves to get an agent/publisher in today's market?

 Attend a writers’ conference with editor and agent appointments. Meeting them personally is the best way to get attention and to receive an offer to send your material.

If you could have done anything differently with your writing career so far, what would it be?

 I would have been more persistent in sticking to mysteries even when the cozy market took a dive. It’s refreshing to write in two genres but more difficult for branding and promotion.

Who are your writing role models, and how have they influenced you?

Marilyn Campbell advised me to write a futuristic romance back when we were in a critique group together. Circle of Light became my first published book and a HOLT Medallion winner in the paranormal category. Now I’d have to say my current critique partners are my role models. They carry on regardless of the ups and downs of life and the writing business.

I so agree with you about critique partners--having good ones can make or break you as a novelist. What's one fact about you that most people don't know?

I like watching romantic comedies on the Hallmark Channel. Happy endings are a must.

Do you have any upcoming releases? If so, tell us about it!

Hanging by a Hair, my 11^th Bad Hair Day mystery, is due out from Five Star in April 2014. I’ve also submitted Warrior Lord, #3 in my paranormal Drift Lords series, to Wild Rose Press and am waiting to hear back from my editor. In my spare time (ha!), I’ve been working on an original mystery to publish myself as an experiment in self-publishing.

I know people will want to visit you online. Can you give us your website links and contact information?

Email: nancy@nancyjcohen.com

Website:  http://nancyjcohen.com

Blog: http://nancyjcohen.wordpress.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Nancy-J-Cohen/112101588804907

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/nancyjcohen

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/91508.Nancy_J_Cohen

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/njcohen/

Linked In:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/nancyjcohen

Google +: https://plus.google.com/103605084765403650204

Thank you so much for sharing your Actual Query Letter that Resulted in a Contract today, Nancy! It was great chatting with you, and best of luck with your upcoming releases! 

Be sure to click on "Follow Happily (my) Ever After" link on the right so you won't miss any of my upcoming writers for my Writers Paying it Forward Friday...

Happily My Ever After,

Dylan

P.S. Ready to rock your query letter like Nancy Cohen did? Check out my post to get the basics of query letter writing on Anatomy of a Query Letter, then be sure to double-check you are following all the other rules in the Top 10 Do's and Don'ts for a Query Letter.

P.P.S. Want to see another query letter example? Check out mine for my first paranormal romance, DESPITE THE GHOSTS, here.

Query Letter Writing...the Dreaded Hook

I'll be honest. I like writing the hook for my books and my query letters as much as I enjoy removing the eye crusties out of my poor Shiz Tsu's eyes. *bleck*

But it has to be done.

Today's Writers Paying it Forward Friday is the first of a two-part series to cover ways to write the dreaded query letter hook. Follow enough editor and agent blogs and you'll discover just how many times they hit the 'delete' key in their query letter queue. It's depressing, but unless you have something that's fresh, original and that'll tempt them out of their Starbucks-induced buzz, your baby will end up in the cyber-junkyard.

So let's put on our big girl panties and get to it.

Your first paragraph...no, your first LINE should be a grabber. There are a bunch of ways to do this, but here are the most common hooks for query letters, and their definition.

The "You Met Me" hook--For Pete's sake, if you've met the agent/editor, LEAD with this information! Time is money, and you need to grab that agent's attention quickly (as they're scrolling through their in-box on their smart phone during their commute, or while waiting in line for lunch). If you pitched to this agent at a conference, or had a rejection letter in which the agent nicely rejected you, yet offered to read something in the future, THIS IS YOUR GOLDEN WONKA TICKET!

Example: Dear Ms. Agent, I really enjoyed meeting with you at the Desperate Writer's Convention in Tampa last month, and per your request, I am sending you the first three chapter of NOVEL TITLE here. 

The One-Liner Hook--Is exactly what it sounds like. Do a one-liner that summarizes your novel and make it fun. Check out the Actual Query Letter that Got Results hook from YA paranormal author, Heather Brewer, from the first book of her Vladimir Tod series, "Eighth Grade Bites: The Chronicles of Vladmir Tod" (Heather Brewer's actual query is HERE,and it rocks, so check it out!).

"If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic."

With one line, Ms. Brewer has conveyed three things: her novel is  YA, paranormal and has an undercurrent of humor. (And it does. I'm a big fan of Heather Brewer's work--great example of YA).

Stay tuned next week, when I will give you two other popular hook types to try and snag that agent with your very first sentence. Click on "FOLLOW (my) HAPPILY EVER AFTER" link to the right to follow my blog so you don't miss a thing!

Happily My Ever After,
Dylan

P.S. Just joining the query letter party? Don't worry; you can catch up. Check out my Anatomy of a Query Letter post for the basics, and be sure to read the Top 10 Do's and Don'ts for Query Letters as well.

P.P.S. Want another example of a query letter that resulted in a contract? Read mine for my first paranormal romance, DESPITE THE GHOSTS, on my post here.

Actual Query Letter that Got Results: Anna Small, Historical Romance

As part of my Writers Paying it Forward Friday, I'm thrilled to welcome historical romance writer, Anna Small, who is sharing her Actual Query Letter that Got Results and some tips helpful for any writer.

I'm fortunate enough to know Anna personally, and can tell you first-hand her new book, "In the Arms of An Earl" is outstanding! If you liked Jane Austen's books, but wished there was a little more...well, steam, then Anna's book is for you! You can read my review of it on Goodreads here, or follow Anna's links below to her website and Amazon page for more information.

Welcome, Anna! So glad to have you! Let's get right down to your Query Letter that Got Results first--I think it's a great example of How To Sell Yourself in a Query Letter (see my post on that topic here) Would you share your letter here, and tell us what you think made it so successful?

This is my query for the new book that I sent to the agent. I was fortunate to have already built a relationship
with this agent through a different book. She told me she enjoyed my writing and wanted to see my next project, so I had an almost guaranteed audience! I researched this agent and discovered we had both grown up in England and loved Jane Austen. Since this book is a Regency historical romance, I was barking up the right tree! It's important to not just spam every agent and editor out there, but know who you are sending to. A few minutes of reading biographies really makes a difference.

Dear Becky,
Last year I queried you about my historical romance, "Miss Bennet in Love." While you didn't think a Mary Bennet story would sell, you said you enjoyed my writing and would like to see something else. 

I am pleased to submit to you a new Regency historical romance, How To Marry A Rogue. At 97k words, it's set in England and the Bordeaux region of France and involves a rogue who doesn't trust love and an impetuous miss who intends to set him straight.

Independent and spirited Georgiana Lockewood has promised her brother she will consider marriage if he allows her to travel abroad with their aunt. When he asks his best and most trustworthy friend, Jack Waverley, to escort them, Georgiana is delighted to renew their friendship. Jack keeps her at a distance, which confuses her, as they used to be close.

Jack has seen what passionate love can do to a man. His father killed himself when his wife deserted him, and his widowed grandfather is bitter and depressed. So when Jack sees Georgiana all grown up, he knows he has to resist her. When she is accidentally compromised, he steps in to save her reputation. After all, what harm can come from pretending to be in love?

I would be happy to send you the full at your request. I will miss Atlanta this year, but wish you a happy conference if you are going. Thank you for your time.

I write my queries based on a very simple model - 5 short paragraphs with the first one showing a personal connection of some kind, the next paragraph describes the heroine's issue, the third is for the hero, and the fourth is the plot hook. I tend to end with a question, as I did here. The last paragraph would be my writing credentials and published books, but since I already knew her, I mentioned the conference, as she might have gone.

Great advice, Anna--and I love how you end with the hook. 
What is THE most important thing writers can do for themselves to get an agent/publisher in today's market?
When critique partners, reading groups, editors, beta readers, etc., tell you to work on or change something, do it! Don't let your ego or dream get in the way. I think a lot of writers are in such a hurry to be published that they don't see the big picture. The other obvious answer is "write a great book!" but that is in itself subjective. What one editor considers great another will consider trash! As far as finding the perfect editor or agent, a writer needs to research the best fit for their project and career. I've seen so many postings from writers saying, "Help! such and such agency requested my book. Does anyone know anything about them?" Worse than that is settling for the first publisher who offers a contract. The biggest hurdle we all have to overcome is patience. A successful career is not made overnight.

If you could have done anything differently with your writing career so far, what would it be?
Following my own advice from the above question! <g>  Seriously, my issue was follow up. Early on in my writing career (probably 20 years ago) I went to my first small conference and met an editor who was extremely interested in my work in progress and requested I send it. Life got in the way and I never did, and always wonder if I would have been published in my 20s, instead of now. By the way, the novel from many years ago ended up being my first published novel, "Tame the Wild Wind."

Who are your writing role models, and how have they influenced you?
Let's see - I admire the novelists who paved the way for us romance authors today, such as Jane Austen, Margaret Mitchell, the Brontes, and numerous others. It was harder being a female author then, and their persistence in their art gave us the timeless classics we love today. As an English major in college, I enjoyed reading all the classic British and American lit as I could. My favorites (big surprise here!) are the Romantic poets and authors. As far as contemporary authors, J.K. Rowling's story of how she was a single mom writing in cafes makes me think I have no hardship or struggle in comparison, and no excuse not to write!

I just read your new book, "In the Arms of an Earl" and it was outstanding (link for my review on Goodreads is here)! As a Brit Lit major in college, when I read your Jane Brooke, she felt like a modern take on an Austen or Bronte heroine--a heroine who had the opportunity to experience some steamy romance! ;) Can you tell me your inspiration for the book? 
I'm so glad you enjoyed the book! Jane's character is loosely based on Mary Bennett, the middle sister from Pride and Prejudice. I always wanted to see Mary have her own story, and wrote her one. Obviously, her name is Jane to honor Jane Austen, and Brooke for the B in Bennett. Frederick, however, is completely of my own imagination, although I'll share that I pictured Hugh Jackman in a white shirt and breeches the entire time I was writing!

Yummm...Hugh Jackman...oh, erm, last question:  What's one fact about you that most people don't know? 
I love to SCUBA dive! It's the only adventurous thing I do. So far, I have dived Grand Cayman, Roatan (Honduras), and the Florida Keys as well as the many beautiful springs and rivers in Florida. I'm always looking for sharks and would love to see one. Not a Jaws cousin, of course, but some sweet little nurse shark. When you're underwater with sea life, everything swims around with you, like you belong. I feel like a mermaid!

What are you currently working on?
I have another Regency historical romance sitting with an agent at the moment - so keep your fingers crossed! In the meantime, I'm starting a few new projects and digging up old ones. The best advice I can give anyone is to keep writing and try a variety of genres or plot themes until you find your niche. I love Western romance, and want to finish my followup stories to Tame the Wild Wind. And contemporary romance also has a hold on me. And there's that medieval time travel I started a few years back....

I'm looking forward to your next one(s)!! :) Thanks for joining me today. I know people will want to check you out online. Can you give us your website links and contact information?
Thanks for having me today, Dylan! I hope readers enjoy my books as much I love writing them.

www.annasmallbooks@yahoo.com
Twitter - @annasmallbooks
FB - anna small books
Anna Small's page on Amazon is here.

Stay tuned for my next Writers Paying it Forward Friday when I will have inspirational romance writer, Jessica Nelson as my guest with her outstanding Query Letter that Got Results.

Happily My Ever After,
Dylan

P.S. Here is another example of a Query Letter that Worked--it's mine for Despite the Ghosts--here.

P.P.S. Want to get your query letter as spiffy as Anna's? Check out my post on How to Sell Yourself in a Query Letter...and not Sound Like a Jerk here.

P.P.S.S. Want the basics on Query Letter writing? I have a great downloadable cheatsheet on the Anatomy of a Query Letter here, and the Top 10 Do's and Don'ts for Query Letters here.

Query Letters that Worked--mine for DESPITE THE GHOSTS

When I was deep in the throes of a query letter-induced nervous breakdown, I'd have given my left nostril to view an actual query letter that worked, along with the book it was written for--typically, you only get the former, without the latter.

Well, call me your Scary Godmother, but I've got mine for you. An actual query letter that worked, which you can then marry to DESPITE THE GHOSTS, my first book that was published. 

:) You're welcome.

As part of my Writers Paying it Forward Friday program, here's the query letter that got me a partial request from 2 agents and 2 publishers--which went on to translate to a full request and contract from The Wild Rose Press in 2009. My query title is different than the title we ended up with when TWRP contracted me (as there was already another book with "Ghost of a Chance" as a title), which proves you should never fall in love with your title, because your title won't love you back!)

You'll note, the query for what would become DESPITE THE GHOSTS has all of the necessary parts that I talked about in my Anatomy of a Query Letter post (click here for that), and I stuck to all of the Top 10 Query Letter Do's and Don'ts post (click here for the Top Ten list).

(FYI--This was an email query, so is formatted for email with no return address, date sent, etc. The name of the editor has been made generic for the purposes of this post.)

Dear/Attn Ms. Agent:
Nola Richards is pissed. Not only did the ghost looming at the end of her bed interrupt what had the makings of an amazing erotic dream, he’s intent on ruining her summer with his fragmented plea for help. Really, despite her skills as a spirit medium, parapsychology professor and psychic author, what is she supposed to do with “NOT SUICIDE” written in the steam on her shower door? 

When his ghostly antics scare off a paying client, it’s the last straw. Nola vows to solve this ghost’s mystery and insists on meeting with his bachelor brother, business tycoon and complete skeptic Parker Sebastian…and then bedding him. After having her first week of vacation ruined, her car stolen, and topping it off with her rough reception at Parker’s office, Nola figures breaking her two-year dry spell with the executive was her right. He owed her. 

For Parker, stepping outside of reality never felt so good—neither had the sex. It was perfect…except for the fact that Nola had a hand in killing his brother. How else could he explain her otherworldly knowledge of his brother’s death?

Nola must overcome Parker’s disbelief to help unravel his brother’s message and discover the real killer. Both of them will have to alter their version of ‘normal’ to give their love A GHOST OF A CHANCE.

Complete at 85,000 words, A GHOST OF A CHANCE is an edgy paranormal romance with a quirky, modern heroine (endowed with the ability to see ghosts), a hot executive (who is just plain endowed), and plenty of conflict, ghostly suspense and sex.

Unlike Nola, my publishing credits are more mundane. They include a year-long stint with ClubMom.com as a Go-To writer, publishing a total of 22 “Stories from the Heart” and educational articles for their website. I have writing credits with several local newspapers, as well as training and sales materials created for corporate clients. I am an RWA member, as well as a member of Scribbler’s Ink, a Tampa-based writer’s group.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best Regards, 

Dylan Newton
123-456-7890
DylanNewtonemailaddress@emailaddress.com

I hope being able to see an actual query letter that resulted in a publishing contract (along with being able to read the resulting novel) helps you avoid a query letter-induced nervous breakdown. 

And you didn't even have to give your left nostril to get it. Now that's what I call...

Happily My Ever After,
Dylan

P.S. Want to see the whole structure necessary in every query letter? Click here and print off my Anatomy of a Query Letter post for your reference.

P.S. And make sure your query letter obeys the Top 10 Query Letter Do's and Don'ts by printing off my post here.

Writers Pay It Forward Friday--Query Letters that Worked!

Today is the first post of my Writers Pay It Forward Friday series--where I will feature a writer, showcase their latest and greatest novel, and give newbie writers a chance to look at what I would've given my left nostril to have before I was published...

ACTUAL QUERY LETTERS THAT RESULTED IN A PUBLISHING CONTRACT!

I'm not sure why it is, but actual query letters that got results are hard to find online, especially from the author himself/herself. Maybe it's a hit to their pride; query letters are personal, sometimes embarrassing, soul-baring missives that writers may not want their fans to see. Or maybe it's a territorial thing--sort of a 'I had to muddle through it, so should they!' vibe.

I'm neither prideful nor territorial. 

So over the next few weeks, I'll show you mine--the ones that bombed, and the ones that got requests for partial manuscripts. Along the way, I'll offer tips and tricks to writing a query letter (or query email) for ANY manuscript.

Best of all...I will feature an author each month with his/her actual query letter that got him/her a request for a partial or full manuscript. In that way, not only will you see the actual query that resulted in a contract, you can also see the end result--what the novel came to be after edits and revisions.

Pretty cool, right? If you want 'in' on this party, just check back weekly to see what's new, or better yet, subscribe to my blog by clicking on the link to your right that says, "Follow My Happily Ever After."

Here's to ALL of us writing...
Happily My Ever After,
Dylan

P.S. If you are an author who has been traditionally published and have an actual query letter that got you a publishing contract, please click the "Contact" link above. I'd love to feature you, your actual query letter, and the resulting book on my blog!